i wish there was a non-assholeish way to say “our friendship has run it’s course, you make me uncomfortable with your feelings and a lot of shit you do pisses me off bye”
so I ended my english presentation with “these fatal flaws brought macbeth to his macdeath” and at least 60% of the class groaned
“i don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day in the internet
watching tv shows online
I would never unfollow anyone for posting personal stuff. Tumblr is a place to get out your feelings not bottle them up inside and pretend like you are okay.
“You’re so bad in bed, Sherlock Season 3 will probably come before I do”
I will just sit here and pray I won’t need to say it to anyone…
I laughed waaay too hard.
Oh my GOD
“Actual conversations with my 2 year old daughter, as re-enacted by me and another full grown man - Episode 1”
Oh my GOD
This is very true to my experience.
if everybody got a free miniature animal at birth that protected you, like a tiny elephant or dragon, the world would be a better place.
- parents: you spend too much time on the computer, it's like you're addicted
- me: fine can i go out
- parents: no
“baby” i say in reference to a character who can kill without a second thought
Ways to kill your enemies
I know way too much about killing people because of this website
I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW THESE INVISIBLE BALLS ARE SUPPOSED TO KILL YOU???? 250K NOTES DOES ANYBODY ACTUALLY KNOW
by swallowing the water without the knowledge of the balls’ presence, you’re basically destined to choke on them
bubble tea of death
Bubble tea of death
Also the marbles absorb water, so once they get inside you, they’ll start expanding even more and basically take all the fluid out of your body and you’ll very slowly dehydrate to death.
Basically Bubble Tea of Death
i really want to see someone get murdered this way on supernatural
GUYS GUYS GUYS
do catholics fail trigonometry because they’re afraid of sin
do irish people fail trigonometry because they can’t tan
does everyone else fail trigonometry just cos
Fun fact: Dustin Hoffman and Bob Hoskins decided secretly that they’d play Hook and Smee as a gay couple. When Spielberg, the director, found out, he was furious.
I just think it’s hilarious.
OH MY GOD
well this just made my childhood 1000% better
I suddenly want to watch this movie again.
I feel like this news has elevated me to a new plane of existence
Wow, I don’t remember that.